August 2009
80 posts
The Walk
Walking home one day, you turned and asked me what I wanted to be when I was old. I said a fireman or a policeman or something else that made sense at the time. I asked you the same question.
You said “Happy.”
The Drop
Truth those around you. We all share the same basic human condition. We all want. We all need. We all love. We all hurt. So trust them. Even when you’re falling.
We all fall sometimes.
The Turning
Spinning in infinity. Searching for the silence. You found it near the edge of here and there. On the borders of now and forever.
The Occasional Silence
You can walk into a room and spot them. They seem fine when you talk to them but every now and again, across the room, you catch them looking off into the distance at an invisible point that maybe, they once reached. They laugh a little different. They hesitate a little more. Now they know what it feels like. And something about their eyes when they listen to music says
“Turn it up until my...
The Close and the Nearly
Something has moved and bumped the cradle of everything. The world is out of sync. Birds fly backwards and the fish swim through the air. Hours pass like seconds and the seconds pass like hours. The light fades before the sun leaves. The stars shine before the night falls. I am here early. You are here late.
Insomnia
The dead of night aides by my side. Its constant presence penetrates my insides, leaving a dark, sick, evaporated feeling of discomfort and paranoia. I feel the coldness of night seeping into my insides, feeding on my anxiety and fear. I no longer feel myself; the confusion and frustration surrounding me is eating away at my mind. I’m delusional, irrational and irritable. The sleepiness of...
The Things We Decide
There’s nothing scary about choice. Scary is when you don’t have a choice.
The Hold
Don’t let it pass you by. Grab on and hold on. Don’t just hold on for the sake of holding on.
The Centre
Be at peace and know that you are perfect in your imperfection.
The Number
Two gives you perspective. There is you and there is me. There is day and there is night. A sun and a moon. Love and hate. Joy and sadness. War and peace. Harmony and chaos. Without one, we can never have the other. And to create anything new, a third, you first need two.
Two is important.
My past attempted to catch up to me today. I laughed and gave it the cold shoulder, denying any access of it into my present.
Some options are better left alone.
The Sheen
What you make by hand will never match what you make by heart.
The Fear
I asked if you’d seen any good horror movies lately. You said:
“There aren’t any good horror movies anymore. In the 90’s, we were scared of the end of the world, so we made movies about that. In the 80’s, it was serial killers and psychopaths. Today, we just turn on the news.”
It would be nice to have good horror movies again.
The Beside
Those above you, will one day be below you. Those below you, will one day be above you.
That’s why you should always treat everyone, as those beside you.
The Circle, Triangle, Square...
If you’ve got the time, we can play a game. It’s easy. We just see if I’m the same shape as the space you have inside you. If everything fits, we both win. If it doesn’t, don’t force it. That’s how you get splinters in your heart.
The Ill At Easel
This is not where art and commerce meet. This is where commerce slips something in art’s drink. Steel coffins, gears grinding with glee. There’s space on the conveyor belt for one more. This one’s old and rusted, jaded and the green has faded. We need more bright dreams to sell.
Who knows? It could be you.
The Carrying
Picture them in your mind. In that moment. Freeze it. See every detail. Hear every sound. Smell every scent.
They will carry you through the pain.
The Passenger
You always made me feel bad for asking you for a lift. Now I pick up hitchhikers wherever I go. I take them right to their door. Even the prostitutes.
The Bibliography of Strings
And you taught me what this feels like. And then how it feels to lose it. And you showed me who I wanted. And then who I wasn’t. And you ticked every box. And then drew a line. And you weren’t mine to begin with. And then not to end with. And you looked like everything I wanted. And then became something I hated. And you get thought of every day. And then not in a good way. And you...
The Killing of Tiny Numbers
You were my friends and I had the best times of my life with you. But these days, all this, all the stars you reached for, all the things you ached for, you’ve got them and you don’t even know it. And all that your fulfilled dreams have made you do, is try and rip each other to pieces. Your hopes dipped in bitterness.
That’s why I hate it.
The Rules of Engagement
All persons entering a heart do so at their own risk. Management can and will be held responsible for any loss, love, theft, ambition or personal injury. Please take care of the way you look at me. No roller skating, kissing, smoking, fingers through hair, 3am phone calls, stained letters, littering, unfeeling feelings, a scent left on a pillow, doors slammed, lyrics whispered, or...
The Ghost of Too Much
There’s not enough soil in the earth for how deep I want to be buried. There’s not enough water in the oceans for how slowly I want to sink. There’s not enough fire in the sun for how brightly I want to burn. There aren’t enough words in my head to say all the things I can’t. There’s not enough blood in my body for all I need to bleed. There’s...
“I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom...”
– Anais Nin (via decadentia)
The Mending
Your wings needed mending. I sat there all night with sticky-tape and glue and a needle and thread and string and old newspapers. The sun came up but still, nothing worked. You needed to fix them yourself. You thanked me for trying and told me because I’d tried, you’d be willing to try too. You flew.
The Priorities
It doesn’t matter how much you spent. It doesn’t matter how many people worked for you. It doesn’t matter how far you travelled. It doesn’t matter what kind of car you drove. It doesn’t matter who knew your name.
It matters how much you loved.
The Surface
When you are happy, you will only remember the happy times in your life. When you are sad, you will only remember the sad times. There are two sides to everything. And life is never one colour.
Remember this.
The Wires
I’ve never met you, but I knew all your secrets. You’d spill them late at night across the wires, across the earth, from one continent to another. I don’t know what you sounded like, but I know what you’d say. And I didn’t even know what you looked like. But I know how you felt.
We trust in strangers the most.
The World
When the world is cold and alone, you will be the one that keeps us warm through that frost-bitten final night, letting us live to see a rising sun one more time.
Humanity, as a whole, would like to thank you for being you. Now that we all know about your life, and what you went through, you’re an inspiration to all of us. Thank you for never losing your faith in us, when the time comes,...
The Mantra
You’re as big as the sky. As calm as the sea. As solid as the earth. Burning like fire.
It’s all inside.
The Overheard
I found an angel tied up in the bathroom at a resturant. I was about to untie her. You stopped me and told me to ask her first if she wanted to be untied. She smiled and told me she was fine. As we walked out, you told me you can’t argue with angels. They do what they want. Even if they’ve fallen. And you’ve got to respect them for that.
The Praise
The best way to be great, is to not try to be great. Do something good for someone, without seeking their thanks or their praise and you will be rewarded with a feeling from within. Which is a thousand times better than a feeling from without.
The Listening
I want to listen to you. I want to open the door. I want you to tell me your story, in your words. The books don’t do it justice.
I can’t hear you unless you speak.
The Present
You may call this life whatever you wish to call it. An adventure. A challenge. A call to arms.
We will call it history.
The Right to Wear Name Tags
These aren’t consumers. They’re people. These aren’t foreigners. They’re people. These aren’t civilians. They’re people. These are people. They are people. And one of their own is a person.
Just like you.
The Foreign Holiday
If you’ve never felt your ribs pushing against your skin… If you know when you’re next going to eat… If you’ve slept under a roof last night… If you know how to use a computer… If you can see this picture… If you can read these words… If you know someone you can share this with…
You have a lot to be thankful for.
The Time We Were
Do you remember when we were vampires? Do you remember when we ran through the streets at night, our heads back, laughing and screaming, so alive it felt like we owned the world? Do you remember?
Do you remember me?
Regular Conversation.
Me: "I make good beds ;)"
-- Tamara Tran.
Tamara: Need me to make your bed? ;)
Me: I would love for you to get in my bed.. i mean MAKE my bed :P
Tamara: I'm sure you do. I'll... SMOOTH everything out for you.
Me: Oh it needs lots of smoothing, make sure you tuck it in nice and tight.
Tamara: Oh don't worry, I have lots of tools to use for helping with the smoothing out bit. I always tuck it in nice and tight. Just like how you like it ;)
Me: Well you'll be needing to use a lot of those tools because this is one messy bed.
Tamara: Don't worry, I always come prepared for you.
It's a special cleaning service only provided to some Very Important People.
The Search
In the house of truth, you will find beauty. In the house of beauty, you will find nothing.
The Beauty
If love and beauty were easy to find, they would not exist.
Chaos and sadness exist in order for you to find the love and beauty in them. So that love and beauty mean something.
It’s meant to be hard.
The Thought Wall
Some thoughts will chase you from your childhood to the end of the house and back again. They’ll sit there, hanging in the cobwebs, waiting to be thought back to life. Hiding in the walls. The smell of a book. The way the light shines at a certain point in the day.
But there are other thoughts, new thoughts, that can take place of old thoughts. Think them well and often.
The Light Within
You are responsible for your own actions. Whether you shine or not is up to you.
No one else.
The Plural
We all see the same sky. Even you.
It’s what we see in the sky that makes us different.
The Knot
You’re all tangled up in other people. Their worries have become your worries. Their expectations of you have become the expectations you have for yourself. Their dreams are slowly turning into your nightmares.
You are not other people.
The Anchor
Hold the peace inside yourself. Do not let it depend on other people, the day you’re having, the work you have to do or any of the other flotsam and jetsam of life.
Let it depend on you and the choice you make to feel it.
The Pause
Stop. Just stop it. Today is the day. The moment is this one. Ignore the noise and people around you. Ignore the phone. Ignore black coffee. Ignore the clock.
The time to start being the person you always wanted to be is right now.
The Hello
The Hi-hello-how-are-you?’s. The I’m-fine-and-you?’s. The slight nod of the head. The threads that bind you to everyone else. It’s coded language for a constant reassurance.
“I’m alive. You’re alive too.”
